For the most part, 2020 has not been kind to us. We’ve seen the souls of our friends laid bare by the rolling crises of a global pandemic, floods, fires, unemployment, earthquakes and more. It’s not been a pretty sight, and with quarantine taking away all the things that previously distracted us, we’ve discovered many things we don’t like about ourselves, and the true natures of our families, friends, and our politicians.

People that you previously thought were relatively stable are struggling, the friends who were struggling are falling into the abyss of despair and depression, and the folks you knew who were cocky, arrogant SOB’s seem to be doing fine. …

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(not my work; author unknown)

These election conspiracy theories are the 2020 equivalent of the Salem Witch Hunt. “Oh, the dog died?” “Yes, it ate some hemlock in the woods.” “NOoooOOoo… the dog died because…… YOU ARE A WITCH!” “No, really — it ate some hemlock. Here’s a leaf in its mouth.”. NOooOooooo… YOU ARE A WITCH!”. And on and on, ultimately ending with the ‘witch’ being burned alive or drowned. See how that works?

SERIOUSLY, friends.
• There’s not a software that switched votes (the code would be trackable);
• Most mail-in ballots were already in by the end of day Tuesday, it just takes time to count them;
• The systems of checks and balances to avoid fraud and duplication are working;
• The ballots in dispute will likely have ZERO impact on the outcomes;
• We’ve talked about how long it would take for WEEKS, if not MONTHS;
• In our ‘rent to own, buy it now’ mentality, we have zero emotional intelligence to discipline ourselves to wait; and in the absence of ‘real’ information, the primitive brain makes up its own stories to fill in the blanks. …

Part of keeping our emotional intelligence high (vs. the panicky LOW ‘emo IQ’ we’re seeing) is to focus on the positive/helpful things we CAN do. Below is a ‘short’ list; feel free to add on your ideas.

1. BREATHE. Literally, our IQ’s can drop up to 30 points when our emotions (fear, anger, panic, etc.) take control of us. I don’t know about you, but I don’t HAVE 30 IQ points to spare. By taking deep breaths, we are re-directing much-needed oxygen to our brain.

2. DON’T BINGE. On anything — food, alcohol, drugs, sex, whatever. When we binge, we feel even MORE out of control, and then have to suffer the repercussions of the binge. …

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I’ve seen a lot of conversations over the past few years about how people who are ‘easily offended’ should just ‘suck it up’ or ‘get over it’. Labels like ‘snowflake’, ‘thin-skinned’ and ‘overly sensitive’ get bandied about.

In essence, those people who want to share rude, insensitive and offensive material believe that anyone who finds it offensive is just an emotionally immature person.

Sadly, they’re right. Yup. You read that correctly. Those rude, insensitive and offensive people are spot-on. How can that be? Read on, my friend, for the explanation of this riddle.

One significant hallmark of having high emotional intelligence (EmoIQ or EI) is not being easily offended. Now that just doesn’t seem fair, does it? It would only make sense that if you had a high level of emotional intelligence, then you would FEEL the offense more deeply, right? And those rude, insensitive and offensive people should be told off, taught or corrected in some way, right? …

In the aftermath of this week’s Supreme Court Hearings, I wanted to share a few observations. I deliberately didn’t watch them because I was performing a type of ‘social experiment’ to see what my friends would say about what they observed.

Interestingly enough (and shockingly so), my friends landed on both sides of the outcome. I’m lucky enough to be surrounded by some very smart folks, and yet — the very same behaviors (Judge Kavanuagh’s keeping of his calendar, or the various verbal testimonies) were interpreted in polar opposite ways.

This led me to a conclusion that I would like to share with you: perspective is a very subjective thing. While I am not a fan of Judge Kavanaugh, in the absence of video footage or DNA evidence, this is not an easy case to unravel. …

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I am SO sick of hearing this phrase. Look, I understand its origins, and — in all reality — it’s a great way to acknowledge those things that are well and truly out of our hands or are part of the universal scheme of things.

AND YET — I mentally scream like a little girl every. single. time. I hear someone who has f***ed up a project, slacked on a deadline, performed sloppily or in general has a crappy attitude use this phrase.

NO. It isn’t what it is. What it is is piss-poor performance. What it is is your unwillingness to DO something proficiently or professionally. What it is is your lazy mental attitude about lacking the personal power to change yourself and — in turn — to change the world. …

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On this beautiful Saturday morning alone, I have seen more than 50 negative posts on social media with memes and links to ugly stories about ‘the state of our country’, and — unless I’ve missed them — ZERO posts about what to do about these things that are happening. I have read comments about longing for ‘the good old days’, and labeling these days as the “end times”, and saying my most hated statement, “It is what it is.”

Friends, If you are unhappy with what is happening in our country or in our world, then please recognize that ‘liking’ and ‘sharing’ memes, links to heinous stories about bad behavior, bad legislation and bad attitudes does *nothing* to change it; rather, it desensitizes us and creates ‘compassion fatigue’. You’re part of the problem, not part of the solution. EVERY SINGLE TIME YOU SHARE SOMETHING NEGATIVE WITHOUT A LINK TO A SOLUTION, YOU ARE PART OF THE PROBLEM. It’s time to focus on solutions. Are you ready? …

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Years ago there was a fabulous book written called “QBQ! The Question Behind the Question” in which the author, John G. Miller, reviewed how our personal accountability could be improved by asking the right questions. Instead of asking ‘blaming’ questions, our focus is more powerfully shifted to asking ‘solving’ questions. I highly recommend this book.

To carry forward his logic, I want to encourage you to consider how asking additional ‘right questions’ can help you be a better leader, regardless of your position. …

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Emotional Intelligence in the Workplace

I enjoy watching people and their behavior. In my work, I invite businesses and individuals to focus on patterns of behavior as the key to isolating workplace culture problems and individual performance issues.

One thing I’d like to lay out for consideration is the value of Emotional Intelligence, both personally and professionally. …

All too often, I believe folks get caught in the rabbit hole of looking where they fell, vs. where they tripped. They make the same mistakes over and over, but in different contexts, so they fail to see the PATTERNS of behavior that are truly the stumbling blocks that are keeping them from their goals.

It took me too many years to learn these six tips, so let me share them so that I might save you a few years of angst.

BE PRESENT — are you really ‘present’? Too many of us are wallowing in the past or worried about the future. Be in the moment you are in. Be aware of what you are thinking and feeling as much as possible. …


Sarah Zink

A ‘Power Chick’ committed to using my superpowers for good. Author, behavioral consultant, jazz singer, shooter, quilter and avid reader of classic literature.

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